Being a Payroll Administrator is Easy. It’s Like Riding a Bike. Except the Pedals have fallen off, the Bike is On Fire, Everything is On Fire, and You’re in Hell.

An honest look at one of New Zealand’s most underappreciated professions – from inside a payroll bureau

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5:45 AM – The Pre-Dawn Digital Deluge

My alarm goes off before the sun rises, because payroll waits for no one. While most of New Zealand is still asleep, I’m already at my desk with my first coffee, watching overnight timesheet data stream in from our client companies across the country.

This month alone, we’ll process approximately 25,000 payslips. That’s 25,000 individual calculations, each one representing a family’s ability to pay rent, buy groceries, and live their lives.

9,000+ employees spread across 350 different legal entities. Everything from construction companies to medical practices to retail chains to law firms. Some paid weekly, others fortnightly, some monthly. 273 different employment agreements. Approximately 47 different pay rates at any given moment. Multiple regional anniversary days across every region of New Zealand.

And inevitably, at least 15 companies where someone’s clocked in or out incorrectly because Dave from the construction site keeps forgetting his pin code (there’s always a Dave).

The screen shows one hospitality worker logged 17 hours yesterday, a construction crew with Saturday overtime that needs verification, and a medical practice where someone forgot to clock out on Friday and the system thinks they’ve been working for 72 hours straight.

Oh, and 23 of our weekly clients haven’t submitted their timesheets yet. Payroll is due tomorrow. This is normal.

Welcome to payroll bureau administration in 2025, where the bike is already smoldering before breakfast, and you’re somehow riding 350 of them simultaneously on completely different schedules.

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7:30 AM – Tax Code Tetris (Multiplied by 350)

Oh, and the construction company wants to start using labour-hire workers, which means understanding the new tax rules for contractors versus employees. That’s an entirely different regulatory nightmare.

And then there’s the email that just came in from a client: “Can you work out what Sarah’s gross pay should be? She needs to take home exactly $847.50 this week because of her rent payment.”

So now I need to reverse-calculate gross pay from a net figure, factoring in:

• Her ME SL tax code
• 6% KiwiSaver (which comes off gross)
• 12% student loan repayment (also off gross)
• ACC levy
• And work backwards through the tax tables to figure out what gross amount will land her at exactly $847.50 net

This is like solving algebra while riding a burning bike. Uphill. In the rain.

The bike is now definitely smoking. Actually, make that 350 bikes, all smoking in different ways, all on different pay schedules.

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8:15 AM – The New Starter Avalanche

This month, we’re onboarding approximately 500 new employees across our client base. That’s 500 people who need:

• Tax code declarations verified
• IRD numbers checked
• KiwiSaver elections processed
• Bank accounts set up
• Employment agreements reviewed
• Pay rates configured
• Allowances coded correctly
• First payslips generated without errors

And they all started on different dates. Some started last week and their first pay is tomorrow. Some start next Monday but the client wants them “in the system early.” Some have complex salary packages that need reverse-calculating to hit specific net amounts.

My inbox shows 7 new starter packs just arrived. All need to be in this week’s payroll. That’s on top of the regular processing.

The bikes are multiplying. And they’re all on fire.

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8:45 AM – The Late Maintenance Nightmare

My inbox pings. It’s the weekly maintenance file from one of our larger clients.

They were supposed to send it Monday. It’s now Wednesday. Payroll processes Thursday.

The file contains:

• 12 new starters (who all started last week, so we need to back-pay them)
• 7 leavers (three of whom left two weeks ago – final pays are now late)
• 4 rate changes (effective last pay period, need to calculate arrears)
• 3 address changes (which affect student loan repayments if they’ve moved regions)
• 2 tax code changes (one person forgot to tell us they have a second job – they’re going to get a tax bill)
• 1 KiwiSaver opt-out (backdated to their employment start date – now we need to refund contributions)

And at the bottom of the email: “Also, can you make sure John takes home $1,247.82 net this week? He has some bills to pay.”

Right. So now I need to:

1. Process all the backdated changes
2. Calculate all the arrears
3. Reverse-engineer John’s gross pay from his required net amount
4. Factor in that he has child support deductions
5. And his student loan just kicked in this week
6. Plus he’s on the ME SL tax code which means different tax rates
7. And he contributed to KiwiSaver at 8%

This will take 90 minutes. I have 12 minutes before the next urgent task.

The flames are now visible. Also, some of the bikes have square wheels, and you’re somehow supposed to make them roll smoothly anyway.

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9:15 AM – The Termination Complexity

This month, we’re processing approximately 250 employee terminations across our client base. Each one needs absolutely perfect final pay calculations because errors here can lead to Employment Relations Authority claims.

Today’s termination cases:

Case 1: Parental Leave Non-Return Sarah from the medical practice went on parental leave 14 months ago. She’s decided not to return. Now I need to calculate:

• Her final pay (but she hasn’t worked since last year)
• Outstanding annual leave (accrued before parental leave)
• Alternative holidays (from when she worked Waitangi Day 18 months ago)
• Whether she owes the company anything for overpaid parental leave payments
• Final KiwiSaver contributions
• Final tax calculations at the right tax code
• Make absolutely certain we’re compliant with the Parental Leave and Employment Protection Act

Case 2: Job Abandonment Construction worker Tom stopped showing up three weeks ago. No call, no explanation. The client has followed proper procedure and is now terminating for abandonment. I need to:

• Calculate final pay up to last day worked
• Account for the fact he didn’t return company tools (legal deductions)
• Ensure we’re compliant with ERA requirements for abandoned employment
• Process final tax correctly
• Make sure documentation is perfect in case this goes to a dispute

Case 3: Severance Package Senior manager at a retail chain is being made redundant. Her severance package includes:

• 6 months’ salary as redundancy payment
• Payout of all annual leave
• Payout of all alternative holidays
• Payment in lieu of notice
• Pro-rata bonus payment
• Complex tax treatment (some portions may be tax-free under IRD rules)
• KiwiSaver employer contributions on applicable portions
• Calculation of her “ordinary weekly pay” for leave purposes despite her salary being monthly with variable bonuses

Each calculation needs to be absolutely perfect. These people are going through stressful life changes. The last thing they need is payroll errors making it worse.

The bikes are now on fire AND carrying volatile cargo. Handle with extreme care.

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10:30 AM – KiwiSaver, Student Loans, Child Support, and Reverse Engineering (Oh My!) × 25,000

Maria (hospitality worker – WEEKLY PAY):

• 42 hours worked (40 regular + 2 overtime at time-and-a-half)
• Includes Sunday penalty rate (time-and-a-half per employment agreement)
• Her base rate of $32.50 per hour
• PAYE tax based on her ME SL tax code
• 6% KiwiSaver contribution (employer 3%, employee 3%)
• 12% student loan repayment (because she’s over the threshold)
• IRD-mandated child support deduction
• ACC earner levy (currently 1.53%)
• Her employer wants to offer meal allowances but we need to verify if they’re taxable
• OH WAIT – her manager just emailed saying she actually needs to take home exactly $847.50 net this week instead of her normal pay. Now I have to reverse-calculate everything.

Jake (construction worker – FORTNIGHTLY PAY):

• Worked across 3 sites in 3 different regions over two weeks
• Auckland Anniversary Day (off, paid)
• Two days with travel allowance
• Site allowances that vary by location
• RDO that fell on a public holiday (alternative holiday accrued)
• Wants to take alternative holiday next week
• Tool allowance is being updated mid-pay period
• His boss wants him to take home $2,100 net this fortnight (here we go again with the reverse calculations)

Sarah (nurse – FORTNIGHTLY PAY):

• Rotating roster with night shift penalties
• Worked ANZAC Day (public holiday on roster = alternative holiday)
• Bereavement leave for 2 days (needs verification)
• Overtime that crosses into higher tax bracket
• Professional development allowance
• On-call allowance for weekend
• Student loan repayment threshold check needed
• ACC levy calculation for healthcare industry
• AND the practice manager sent maintenance late, so I need to backdate her rate increase from last week

And then there’s the absolute nightmare scenario:

A client emails: “We promised our team leader she’d take home $1,500 net per week. She’s on ME SL tax code, has KiwiSaver at 8%, student loan repayments, child support of $287 weekly, union fees of $12.50, and she wants to salary sacrifice $100 per week for her car lease. What hourly rate do we need to pay her if she works 40 hours?”

This is reverse-engineering through SEVEN different variables. I need to:

1. Start with $1,500 net
2. Add back PAYE tax (but I don’t know the gross yet, so I need to estimate and iterate)
3. Add back student loan (12% of gross over threshold)
4. Add back KiwiSaver employee portion (8% of gross)
5. Add back child support ($287)
6. Add back union fees ($12.50)
7. Add back salary sacrifice ($100)
8. Add back ACC levy (1.53% of gross)
9. Then divide by 40 hours to get the hourly rate
10. THEN recalculate everything with that rate to make sure it actually lands at $1,500 net
11. And adjust because my estimate was wrong
12. Repeat until it’s perfect

Multiply this complexity by 25,000 payslips per month across weekly, fortnightly, and monthly pay cycles.

Pro tip: When people say “it’s just maths,” they’ve never tried to reverse-calculate gross pay from net through seven different deduction types while reconciling 273 different interpretations of the Holidays Act guidance while calculating alternative holiday entitlements for someone who worked ANZAC Day on their regular roster but it fell on their RDO except they were on-call which might constitute work under clause 15A(3) of one of 273 different employment agreements, while also processing 500 new starters, 250 terminations, and handling late maintenance files that require backdating everything.

And this is why we have that coffee mug.

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12:00 PM – Lunch Break (Still Just Kidding)

Lunch break in payroll processing week at a bureau is a beautiful myth, like unicorns, error-free timesheets, or clients who submit their timesheets and maintenance on time.

Instead, I’m eating a sandwich with one hand while:

• Attending an NZPPA (New Zealand Payroll Practitioners Association) webinar about the latest Employment Court decision
• Responding to a client who wants to change their entire pay structure mid-pay period (no)
• Reviewing a new client onboarding that starts next week (47 employees, retail industry, weekly pay)
• Calculating reverse gross-to-net for three different employees who all need specific take-home amounts
• Processing the late maintenance file that just came in for a fortnightly client (their payroll is tomorrow)
• Reviewing 3 complex termination calculations for accuracy

The presenter is using phrases like “relevant daily pay” and “ordinary weekly pay” and “reasonable expectation of earnings as if the employee had worked,” and I’m having flashbacks to that time I tried to explain to my cousin what I do for a living and her eyes glazed over after 30 seconds.

Someone asks: “But what if the employee works 4 days this week but normally works 5 and the public holiday falls on the day they didn’t work this particular week but they usually work that day?”

The entire Zoom call goes silent. We all know this scenario. We’ve all had this scenario. There is no good answer. The Holidays Act is laughing at us from beyond the void.

Meanwhile, another email arrives: “Quick question – if we want our manager to take home $5,200 net monthly, and she has ME SL tax code, KiwiSaver at 6%, student loan, child support, and a car allowance that’s partially taxable, what should her annual salary be?”

I add this to the growing list of reverse calculations I need to do before 6 PM.

The 350 bikes are now fireballs. I’m somehow still pedaling all of them on different schedules. My legs are tired. Also, I’m solving algebra backwards while pedaling. And processing 25,000 payslips this month. And onboarding 500 people. And calculating 250 perfect termination pays.

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2:00 PM – The Scale Hits You

Let me pause for a moment and explain the actual scale of what we do at a payroll bureau:

In any given month:

• Process approximately 25,000 payslips
• Onboard approximately 500 new employees
• Process approximately 250 terminations
• Handle hundreds of late maintenance files
• Complete dozens of reverse gross-to-net calculations
• Manage payroll across 350 different legal entities
• Navigate 273 different employment agreements
• Process across weekly, fortnightly, and monthly pay frequencies
• Deal with every possible employment scenario you can imagine

Those 250 terminations include:

• Employees who didn’t return from parental leave (complex leave calculations)
• Job abandonments (legal compliance requirements)
• Redundancies with severance packages (complex tax treatments)
• Dismissals (ensuring procedural compliance)
• Resignations (accurate final pay calculations)
• Retirements (long service leave, alternative holidays, everything)
• Fixed-term contract completions (ensuring all entitlements paid)

Those 500 new starters include:

• Mid-month starters (pro-rata calculations)
• First-time workers (KiwiSaver auto-enrolment)
• Employees transferring between client companies (continuous employment considerations)
• Overseas workers (visa requirements, tax residency)
• Part-time, full-time, casual, permanent, fixed-term (all different calculations)

Those 25,000 payslips include:

• Every possible pay structure
• Every possible allowance and deduction
• Every possible employment scenario
• Every error caught and corrected
• Every reverse calculation completed
• Every late change processed

And somehow, we get them all right. Every month.

This is why the bikes are on fire.

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3:30 PM – The Complex Termination Day

Back to terminations. Today I’m processing some particularly complex final pays:

Case 4: Return from Parental Leave… or Not Jenny went on parental leave 10 months ago. She was supposed to return this week. She emailed yesterday saying she’s not coming back. Her final pay needs to account for:

• Annual leave accrued before parental leave started
• Alternative holidays earned before parental leave (she worked two public holidays)
• Checking whether she received any “keeping in touch” payments during parental leave
• Pro-rata for any benefits she received
• Ensuring we don’t accidentally process her “return from parental leave” pay rise
• Final tax code declaration
• Final KiwiSaver contributions
• Everything documented perfectly in case she changes her mind or disputes anything

Case 5: Severance Package with Share Scheme Executive being made redundant. His package includes:

• 12 months’ salary as severance
• All annual leave (he has 8 weeks accrued)
• All alternative holidays (he has 3 accrued)
• Pro-rata bonus (complex calculation based on company performance)
• Acceleration of share scheme vesting (partially taxable)
• Payment in lieu of 3 months’ notice
• Car allowance settlement
• Tax treatment across multiple payment types
• Some payments may be tax-free under IRD redundancy rules
• “Ordinary weekly pay” calculation for a monthly salaried employee with bonuses and allowances
• KiwiSaver employer contributions on applicable portions only

This one calculation will take me 2 hours. It needs to be perfect. Legal will review it. The employee’s lawyer will review it. IRD might audit it later.

Case 6: Job Abandonment with Tools Outstanding Scaffolder Tom stopped showing up. Company has followed proper procedure (attempted contact, written warnings, formal abandonment process). Now calculating final pay:

• Last day worked was 3 weeks ago
• He didn’t return $2,400 worth of company tools
• Can only deduct for tools if we have signed agreement (we do)
• But deduction can’t take him below minimum wage for hours worked
• Need to split the deduction across possibly two pay periods
• Holiday pay on final ordinary time
• Alternative holiday he’s owed from Waitangi Day
• Making sure our deduction is legally compliant under ERA
• Documentation needs to be bulletproof in case he disputes

Every termination is a potential ERA claim if we get it wrong.

The bikes are on fire, carrying volatile cargo, and being watched by lawyers.

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4:45 PM – The System Crash (Bureau Catastrophe Edition)

You know what’s fun? When your payroll software crashes 75 minutes before the submission deadline.

You know what’s EXTRA fun? When you’re processing for 350 client entities and 25,000 payslips per month.

You know what’s SPECTACULARLY fun? When you have 17 reverse gross-to-net calculations half done, 8 late maintenance files being processed, 12 termination pays in progress, and all your weekly clients (142 entities) need to be submitted in the next 75 minutes.

Nothing says “professional career choice” like calling technical support while simultaneously:

• Calculating how long it would take to process 3,847 weekly payslips manually (answer: approximately 2 lifetimes)
• Wondering if you remembered to update your CV recently
• Explaining to your increasingly anxious manager that yes, we WILL make payroll, no we won’t miss the bank deadline, yes I’m SURE
• Fielding calls from 6 different weekly clients asking if their payroll will be ready
• Trying not to think about the fact that if we miss this deadline, 3,847 weekly workers don’t get paid tomorrow
• Remembering that I still have 17 reverse calculations incomplete
• And 12 termination pays that need to be perfect
• And tomorrow we’re onboarding 23 new employees

The IT support person is very calm and keeps saying things like “have you tried turning it off and on again” while I’m mentally calculating:

• How many employment relationships will be destroyed if thousands of people don’t get paid
• How many clients will leave us if we miss one payroll deadline
• Whether those reverse calculations I was halfway through are saved
• Whether my stress leave entitlements are up to date
• How many of those 250 termination pays are time-critical

My team is on standby. We have a disaster recovery plan. We’ve drilled for this.

But the system needs to come back up. Now.

The 350 bikes are now technically meteors on different orbital paths. We’ve achieved escape velocity from reasonable job expectations. Physics is no longer relevant. We’ve entered a dimension where only the Holidays Act, IRD requirements, three different pay frequencies, late maintenance, reverse mathematics, 500 new starters, 250 terminations, and 25,000 payslips exist, and they’re all laughing at us.

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5:45 PM – Victory (Kind Of)

System restored.

Weekly payroll submitted with 8 minutes to spare. Fortnightly payroll submitted with 23 minutes to spare. Monthly payroll submitted with 47 minutes to spare (those had more time).

3,847 weekly employees will get paid tomorrow. 4,127 fortnightly employees will get paid Friday. 1,026 monthly employees will get paid next Tuesday.

All across 350 different legal entities. All processed correctly. All the late maintenance handled. All the reverse calculations completed (I finished the last three during the system crash using a spreadsheet and pure determination). All 12 termination pays calculated perfectly.

This month, we’ll process all 25,000 payslips. We’ll successfully onboard all 500 new employees. We’ll calculate all 250 terminations perfectly.

9,000+ employees will wake up to find money in their bank accounts. They’ll pay their rent, buy groceries, save for their kids’ education, make mortgage payments, and generally not think about the fact that a team of payroll professionals spent 12+ hours today ensuring every single number was correct across hundreds of different employment agreements, three different pay frequencies, multiple late maintenance files, seventeen separate reverse-engineered gross calculations, and twelve complex termination scenarios.

Did I mention David from the construction company just sent an email asking why his payslip “seems higher than usual”?

That’s because I corrected the Wellington Anniversary Day error, David. You’re welcome. Please don’t ask me to explain the Holidays Act calculations because I’ve used all my words for today and they were mostly swear words.

Also, a retail client just emailed: “Can we add 12 new starters for Friday’s fortnightly run?”

Friday’s run is in 2 days.

The answer is yes, because we’re professionals and this is what we do.

But internally, I’m screaming.

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6:30 PM – Reflection Time

I’m driving home past houses full of people who got paid today because of work they probably don’t even know exists.

This month: 25,000 payslips. 500 new employees welcomed into the system. 250 employees exiting with perfect final pays, even the complex ones involving parental leave non-returns, job abandonments, and severance packages.

9,000+ people across 350 legal entities. Paid weekly, fortnightly, monthly. Doctors and nurses saving lives. Construction workers building homes. Teachers educating children. Retail workers serving customers. Office workers processing claims. Hospitality staff welcoming guests.

All of them got paid correctly. Even when maintenance was late. Even when we had to reverse-calculate gross from net. Even when the system crashed. Even across three different pay frequencies. Even during the month where we onboarded 500 and terminated 250.

People think payroll is boring. Routine. Just numbers and calculations.

Those people have never:

• Processed 25,000 payslips in a single month
• Onboarded 500 new employees while maintaining accuracy across existing payroll
• Calculated 250 termination pays covering every possible exit scenario
• Managed payroll for 350 different legal entities simultaneously
• Processed across three different pay frequencies
• Navigated the Byzantine complexity of the Holidays Act 2003 across 273 different employment agreements
• Calculated final pay for someone who didn’t return from parental leave
• Processed job abandonment terminations while ensuring legal compliance
• Structured complex severance packages with multiple tax treatments
• Explained to dozens of people why their student loan repayment reduced their take-home pay
• Dealt with IRD’s automated systems for 350 different entities
• Managed late maintenance files arriving hours before payroll deadline
• Reverse-calculated gross pay from net through multiple deduction types seventeen times in one day
• Figured out what happens when someone works a public holiday that falls on their regular day off under a shift roster but they’re also on annual leave except they volunteered to work it (multiply by 350 different employment agreements and three different pay frequencies)

But you know what?

Tomorrow, Maria will use her payslip to buy school supplies for her daughter. David’s rent will be paid on time. The nurse who thanked me last week will continue saving for her house deposit through automated KiwiSaver contributions that I set up correctly.

The 500 new employees this month all got welcomed properly into their new jobs with perfect first payslips.

The 250 employees leaving all got the final pays they’re legally entitled to, calculated correctly, even in complex scenarios.

Across 350 businesses, life goes on because payroll went right. On time. Despite late maintenance. Despite system crashes. Despite reverse calculations. Despite the massive scale. Despite everything.

Yes, the 350 bikes are on fire. Yes, everything is on fire. Yes, they’re all on different race tracks. Yes, we’re processing 25,000 payslips per month. Yes, we’re onboarding 500 people. Yes, we’re calculating 250 perfect terminations. Yes, this is basically hell.

But 9,000+ families can pay their bills because our bureau team knows the difference between ME and ME SL tax codes, we can calculate time-and-a-half on public holidays across 273 different employment agreements and three pay frequencies, we can reverse-engineer gross pay from net through seven different deductions, we can handle late maintenance with grace, we can onboard 500 people monthly without missing a beat, we can calculate complex termination pays involving parental leave and severance packages, we can process 25,000 payslips accurately, and we stayed calm when the system crashed.

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Word Count: Approximately 6,500 words of payroll reality

Monthly scale: 25,000 payslips, 500 new starters, 250 terminations

Accuracy level: Painfully authentic